My Sacrifice
by Rianthetem
Summary: Pre-book 6. What started out as an innocent correspondence between two wizards changes rapidly into something beyond their control. DM/HG
1. Chapter 1 When you are with me

Disclaimer: I own only certain elements of the plot, nothing more. No characters either. Not in this whole story. :(

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_Dear Diary,_

He hasn't written in days. Odd, considering how often he had been writing; even just last Monday he sent a letter. Sometimes, I even received two letters a day! I suppose it shouldn't really affect me, considering we haven't even met in person, and because we've only been talking for two months. I mean, it's difficult to maintain a long-term relationship that has no face-to-face foundation. But he's hardly left my mind…

I never would have imagined that taking that quiz to pair me up with a pen pal would, or even could, pair me with someone so like-minded. He's smart, likes tennis… he even plays the violin, like me.

We had been planning a meeting for a while now, but that last letter I sent him stopped our communication dead in its tracks, and I still can't figure out why. All I did was suggest a few places to meet, I think I said outside of Olivander's…in Flourish and Blott's near our favorite section – mysteries… or maybe I suggested Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour. So unless he's lactose intolerant, I see no problem there…

Hmm. I also finally told him my real name. We'd both been using pen names from the beginning to hide our identities from potential scammers; yet another similarity between us. I just wish we could have met once. Now he's a secret I'll never be able to unlock. That is, until he decides to contact me again.

I hope it's soon.

~ _Hermione_ ~

Journal Entry 45

Past month has been horrible. Dad is hitting Mom again, even though he said he would stop. Just wish he would grow up and learn to control his anger.

Voldemort has returned - there has been a confirmed sighting by Goyle's dad - so that means a whole lot of ugly is about to flood my life. But these weren't even the worst parts. They didn't even add up to the worst.

The worst is that I found out that the best friend I've ever had is Hermione Granger. And that I can never talk to her again. She and I, by some serendipitous, tragic miracle, were paired as pen pals through a wizarding agency. She is the smartest, funniest, and most caring human being I have ever known, and because of my lineage, I had to break off contact. She has sent a letter every day, waiting for a reply, asking if everything is ok or if something horrible has happened. She tells me about things that are happening with her, like we can still be friends.

…Can we still be friends? I separate myself from her, burn our correspondences so that no one will ever know that I care about her more than anyone else. So that no one will harm her to harm me. Maybe someday, when all of this is over, I can escape from the mansion that is my prison and my name which is the bars—then I can find her.

And we can start writing letters again.

- _Draco Malfoy_


	2. Chapter 2 I'm free, I'm careless

Journal Entry 67

The Dark Lord has been calling his followers almost on a weekly basis, started to put everything back in order again. Some of the time they just talk plans for the future, but more often than not he sends various followers off to scout out the next meeting place, or to strike fear once again into a reluctant Death Eater.

Of course, I'm not getting this information from my father—Crabbe and Goyle are wheedling it out of their parents and sending it here. Otherwise I'd be totally left out.

Father says that by not telling me he is protecting me from the Dark Lord's power, but I know what is really going on. He thinks that if I were caught and tortured, I'd spill my guts. Maybe he's right. But I also know that not telling me won't dissuade the Dark Lord from eventually killing me, or all of us. It's just a matter of time before we no longer serve a purpose, until we take the wrong step that puts us on his bad side.

Hermione's stopped sending letters. I guess it's for the best that she moves on. It's not like I can write her back; it's not like things can go back to the way they used to be...

I can never give her the support she needs. School's starting in three weeks; it will be both wonderful and terrible to see Hermione everyday as I now know her.

One thing I can be sure of—I cannot and will not ever treat her the way I have in the past again.

Draco

_Dear Diary_,

Summer's almost over. I used to write to my pen pal every day, to see if he was all right, but… Well, I can take a hint—obviously he doesn't want to associate with me anymore. So I've moved on.

I arrived at the Burrow two nights ago, and Harry arrived the next day. So far nothing terribly exciting has occurred. We've played Quidditch a few times, at which I am as abysmal as I had predicted. Bill is going to marry Fleur Delacour, of all people. I honestly don't know what he sees in her. Mrs. Weasley has been trying to lure Tonks over for dinner in the hopes that Bill will fall for her, but so far it's been absolutely useless.

Harry, Ron, and I all received our O.W.L.'s last week. Ron was happy with his scores, but Harry was disappointed when he didn't get an Outstanding in potions. He really wants to be an Auror.

I practically failed my Defense Against the Dark Arts O.W.L.

…Ok, actually it was an Exceeds Expectations, but whose expectations is _that_ referring to? Certainly not mine. I'm going to start working harder in that class in order to redeem myself on the N.E.W.T.

Bill and Mr. Weasley had some shocking news today at breakfast—both Florean Fortescue and Olivander have gone missing. No one knows where they went. I sure hope they're ok...

If I still had a pen pal, I'd ask him how he did on his O.W.L.'s. And I'd relay the news to him about Olivander and Florean…or maybe not. After all, those were two of the three places I had suggested we meet. Maybe he's had enough tragedy in his life already, and I would not want to connect his memories of me to more sadness.

Maybe I should actually move on, rather than just claim that I've done so.

~_Hermione_~

P.S.—Got a letter this afternoon, guess my pen pal's been getting my letters all along! Good Night!


	3. Chapter 3 I believe above all the others

_Dear Diary,_

Sorry that it has been so long. Many things have been happening since last we met. The most prominent in my mind would be the fact that my pen pal has returned and explained everything. He told me that his uncle and his grandfather died in the same freak potions accident, and so his family went to stay up north where his uncle's family lived for the past month or so. With the sudden deaths, the displacement, the funerals, and family gatherings, he has had zero-to-no free time to do anything besides sleep and eat. He says that everyone is moving along nicely though, and apologizes for the sudden departure. I'm so glad I didn't lose him. As much as I tried to pretend like I didn't care, I really did miss having a kindred spirit to converse with.

Secondly, yesterday when Harry, Ron, and I were at Diagon Alley with the Weasleys, we saw none other than that rat Draco Malfoy slinking around. We followed him, and saw him go into that wretched shop Borgin and Burkes. With a pair of Fred and George's Extendable Ears, we managed to catch the end of Draco's conversation with Borgin, but we couldn't figure out much of anything beyond Draco's interest in something in the shop.

Anyway, along with these things I've been reading through the text books for this year, and gathering all the school supplies I might need. School's getting closer and closer and I want to be prepared for any pop quizzes the professors might have prepared.

Until next time!

_~Hermione~_

Journal entry 68

I knew he would come for me next. It was only a matter of time before he got bored with my father's subservience and docility and moved on to me, to make me his dog.

As such, here are the new things occurring in my life in a neat, clean-cut list—contrasting its contents:

1. You-Know-Who has given me the dark mark.

2. You-Know-Who has given me a mission.

3. You-Know-Who has ruined my life permanently.

Receiving his mark felt like he was laying a death sentence on me. Now, I have to live for him. Work for him. Serve him. And what does that life, work, and service boil down to? Killing. And death. That is, if he successfully returns to power.

If he is not successful, then I am forever branded as a traitor; a person worth less than dirt. Me, a Malfoy, worth less than dirt. I feel like I've let my ancestors down. Like I've let my mom down. Like I have further dirtied the Pure-blooded family line by becoming something most present-day purebloods admire: a Death Eater.

Three or four months ago, I NEVER would have felt or thought like this. I would have been ecstatic, and ready to serve the Dark Lord in everything. But summer has come and gone. And… I guess a certain pen pal has affected me more than I thought was possible. Maybe there has always been good inside of me, and she just helped me see it. Blast, I just wish I could forget her! Not talking to her makes me feel more alone than I ever used to feel before.

Draco


	4. Chapter 4 We'll fly

She RUINED my life! How dare she talk to him! How dare she even glance his way! How dare she bewitch him to desire her over me!

She will pay. I will personally guarantee that she feels _every_ drop of pain she has ever caused me.

She thinks that I don't know what she is doing? That I don't know that she is jealous of my lifestyle, my friends, my blood? She thinks she can steal him away from me? HA! No. She will not have him.

When we finally meet face to face, I will break her. I will slice her apart, inch by inch, layer by layer, until she is so emotionally fragile, a rent feather will send her into a frenzy. Until she is so mentally unstable, she can't even bear to look at one of her precious books.

And then, finally, when she begs me for death, I'll give it to her slowly. Excruciatingly slowly. Until he sees what she truly is— **Nothing**. Then he won't have any one to lean on except me. And my world will be right again.

_Ha ha ha ha._ The plan has already begun.


	5. Chapter 5 This brings tears to my eyes

Dear Diary,

Only 6 days, 13 hours, 23 minutes and 15 seconds until the train leaves for Hogwarts! The days are dragging on. Harry is really stuck on Dracos even gone so far as to suggest that Draco has the dark mark! I mean, I know that Dracos planningand I wonder if the disappearance of Florean and Olivander have anything to do with it. Curious things are happening in the Wizarding world these days.

Draco seemed different when we saw him leaving the shop. He seemed rather haggard Is bothering me so much. Sorry, Diary, IHarry Evans. He actually does not attend Hogwartsm sure we will meet at some point, even if it is not in the near future. He also promised that he would never fail to write me again! I do wonder at his sudden reappearance and revelation. His writing style has dramatically changed, but perhaps he simply feels more comfortable with me now that we both know each otherm afraid that soon he might become my closest friend! Never have I met someone so likeminded and caring.

Time for dinner! Talk to you tomorrow!

~Hermione~

Journal entry 71

Haha! Something in my life has finally gone right! My father, who had managed to evade capture after his mission to the Hall of Mysteries failed, has been sents displeasuredisposing of them properly. He is being sent alone to track down more than 30 people! People who are in hiding, or may have already died! You-Know-Who is setting him up for failure, and to be honest Ior ever! It have to fear leaving my mother home alone with my father. I know she will be safe now that he has departed. Even the approach of school cans offspring to have taken the mark for themselves, all my friendships from school have disintegrated. Now, they are all too afraid of me to be anything but obedients displeasure. And still, I am tasked with my own horrible mission to be undertaken this year.

However, above all else, if I could have one more good thing happen to me today, I would wish for a letter from Hermione, my only remaining friend. But even she doesnhmm. I will have to think about some possible solutions.

Draco


End file.
